It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty." "The first man exclaims, "What?!? Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?" The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together." The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?" The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
A Giants fan, a Padre fan, and a Dodger fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Padre fan insists he's the most loyal. "This is for San Diego!" he yells and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Giants fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for San Francisco!" and pushes the Dodger fan off the mountain.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
I named my hard drive "dat ass," so once a month my computer asks if I want to "back dat ass up."
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!" The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. The soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?" The captain replies, "If I got injured, my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to lose hope." Just then, another soldier runs up and says, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!" The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, "We'll go at night."

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宝宝一会儿拉一点点多大的宝宝补叶酸宝宝一会儿拉一点点四个月的宝宝老是闹着出去玩宝宝突然动的很厉害两个月宝宝吃奶时拉便便老哭宝宝眼角磕破了睡觉要注意什么吗宝宝能不能用花露水铁元宝宝能喝吗鄂裂宝宝能看出来吗?8个月宝宝脸部肌肉喜欢挤在一起宝宝一会儿拉一点点宝宝肠胃不好怎么给他揉肚子出生宝宝疫苗表宝宝能不能用花露水鄂裂宝宝能看出来吗?宝宝低烧嗜睡是积食吗宝宝站不稳宝宝站不稳怀孕四十多天宝宝图片四个月宝宝身上起红疙瘩宝宝站不稳铁元宝宝能喝吗2月大宝宝不愿意喝奶宝宝突然动的很厉害宝宝不吃东西没精神四个月的宝宝老是闹着出去玩2月大宝宝不愿意喝奶怀孕四十多天宝宝图片宝宝肠胃不好怎么给他揉肚子一片以灵髓为尊的异世大陆,一个不被世人看好的空灵髓少年,他要向世人证明,我命由我不由天…… 一路喋血,万般杀戮,清风与明月相伴,横断万古,一代强者从此复苏! “我要弑天,我要灭地,我要屠尽九幽,我要诛尽须弥……” “我”为了给母亲冶尿毒症枪珠宝店入狱,在狱中“我”遇到了一个怪人——路晨星。他自称是恶魔路西法,他在监狱完成对金牙叔的复仇并将我弄出监狱,回到了我的故乡——星城。二年后路晨星找到我,我和路晨星去到一个叫天堂岛的地方进行训练……。我从恶魔岛回到星城为了保护城市而成为“流星”义务警察。并逐渐解开了自己的身世。我代表人族参加了魔族的内战……“别看这样,可我喜欢他哦,问为什么的话,因为他是我的英雄呀。” “能和他在一起的话,就算世界崩坏又能怎样?” “好了,开始今天异灵部的活动吧!” “额。。学姐,我想问一下,这个异灵现象研究部是进行什么社团啊?” “是超★异灵现象研究部!” “呃呃,好的。” “吭,异灵部呢,是以进行一项伟大而神圣的活动为目的,探索过去与未来无限的奥秘,找到现实与幻想之中的交点……” “比如说” “拯救世界?” “不,比拯救世界更重要!” “哈——”没有昭昭天命,仅有一具不屈的铮铮傲骨。 没有炼神逆天,仅有一曲无悔的荡世壮歌。 沧海横流,生灵涂炭。灾厄接踵而至,上古都不曾有之的空前浩劫降临,数度末日之下,难见曙光。 九霄之巅,天柱高耸,圣殿笼云。护佑众生,恩泽万灵。 “但倘若柱毁殿塌,正道不存,我就是这撑持乾坤的天柱。上达天听,下至黎民。特立誓于浩然天地,以身魂七尺,替苍生挡下这万丈波澜。” “没必要这么严肃吧,”她在他背后撅着嘴,吐掉一颗瓜子皮,“说得好像要万劫不复一样。今天晚上吃我的秘制茄子糕好啦,不削皮哦。” 柔软的衣袂飘动,在塌陷的穹窿下,是战火柔情的希望。 山海玄黄天浩渺,潭渊滚荡盘龙峭。 战血随波八万里,乘风一跃上九霄。 浪洗青锋开武道,策隐玄图有神韬。 天疆峥嵘邪孽止,明玥千古拭云朝。 【欢迎各位书虫读者入坑,坚持日更,同时求各种推荐票订阅收藏鲜花红包,读者们的支持是更新的最大动力,谢谢(~ ̄▽ ̄)~】身陷囹圄,陆抗得天魔本源相助,逃出生天。 没有灵根,陆抗以血祭之法强行开辟,从此修行得道。 修行魔道,却不为恶,妄称正义之辈莫坏我自在逍遥。 偶行善事,自诩邪恶之徒莫言我虚假仁义,阻我大道朝天!伏羲献祭,生命之枯萎,生命之种种子散落各地,十二颗生命种子地方都成为了禁地,经历九万年生之种开始发芽了。 灭门惨案人族少年开起了复仇之路我叶无心历千劫万险; 纵使魂飞魄散,我灵识依在; 战百世轮回,纵使六道无常,我依然永生; 洒我热血,一往无前,穿越了宇宙洪荒; 修我战枪,枪尖在燃烧……何人云端起舞; 让我望穿天涯,柔肠百折,心中风雪潇潇; 曲终人散,一枪刺破云霄,古今同一笑; 天地任逍遥,后世来者,莫与我比高。 江湖远而乱朝堂 纷乱的时代刚刚结束,混乱却纷涌而至。 是拥兵自重,还是自立为王? 是冠绝天下,还是一统江山? 庙堂之上人心叵测。 江湖深远杂乱险要。 君若不弃,还请拭目以待。 且看琅琊成名时! 无上大地破晓陨落他重生到圣后国毫无修为的圣女小姐身上後会发生什麽? 毫无修为的圣女小姐皇权被架空。意外开启圣女系统。 什么我重生竟然变成女的。幸好我有系统。 系统说别得意本系统是不会帮助你的,你还得靠你自己。 坑啊!变成女的就算了给个只能看不能用的系统。那我要你这系统何用。 系统:呵呵只是我觉得你不配拥有本系统。 滚你丫的系统。 就算没有功法没有修为又如何。我定要逆他这个破天。 没有任何金手指在这个以武为尊的世界,何去何从? 且看废物圣女如何震撼天下,开辟出一条逆天之路。 苏霁尘被系统给坑了,在娘胎里面一待就是十年。 【叮,签到成功,获得至尊剑骨】 【叮,签到成功,获得混沌道体】 【叮,签到成功,获得不灭金身诀】 【叮,签到成功,获得斩天拔剑术】 那一日,紫气横盖三万里,至尊降生。 混沌道体,手持祖剑,身上不灭金身,至尊剑骨让万族臣服。 十年之期满,苏霁尘降生。 苏霁尘:“太强了不给出生?我反手就将老娘堆成仙!”
诡秘奇闻之少年占卜师 南宫传奇 我在另一个世界的那些年 凡民成仙 一品权相 末 日 无名的尘埃 我的兄弟是马超 异世:学神崛起 少年时之九零后 上帝禁区之第七空间 我在异界搞革命 轮环 笑傲江湖:开局签到迅雷剑法 地球最后一位守夜人 我是个啥样的人 创世神转世 丧尸围城:我拥有终极魔典 天道罚心 我本一书生,娶妻万人屠! 宝宝拉感冒可以吃蜂糖 宝宝5到9岁冬天怎么补钙 宝宝低烧嗜睡是积食吗 宝宝突然动的很厉害 宝宝拉感冒可以吃蜂糖 宝宝发烧一晚上怎么办? 一岁宝宝屁股连带阴囊都红了 月子里宝宝含着奶头不停吸 宝宝不吃东西没精神 宝宝肠胃不好怎么给他揉肚子 铁元宝宝能喝吗 宝宝吃母乳多久吃一次 宝宝晚上抱出去不好吗 宝宝5到9岁冬天怎么补钙 两个月宝宝吃奶时拉便便老哭 宝宝突然动的很厉害 一岁宝宝屁股连带阴囊都红了 宝宝不吃东西没精神 四个月宝宝身上起红疙瘩 宝宝一会儿拉一点点 宝宝5到9岁冬天怎么补钙 宝宝能不能用花露水 多大的宝宝补叶酸 出生宝宝疫苗表 鄂裂宝宝能看出来吗? 宝宝晚上抱出去不好吗 宝宝不吃东西没精神 多大的宝宝补叶酸 四个月宝宝身上起红疙瘩 宝宝不吃东西没精神 宝宝突然动的很厉害 宝宝5到9岁冬天怎么补钙 宝宝不肯吃柴贵颗粒怎么办 两个月宝宝吃奶时拉便便老哭 2月大宝宝不愿意喝奶 宝宝突然动的很厉害 宝宝不肯吃柴贵颗粒怎么办 宝宝低烧嗜睡是积食吗 宝宝晚上抱出去不好吗 宝宝能不能用花露水 四个月的宝宝老是闹着出去玩 3到6个月宝宝早教 六个月宝宝噗噗噗 宝宝吃母乳多久吃一次 出生宝宝疫苗表 宝宝5到9岁冬天怎么补钙 宝宝吃母乳多久吃一次 四个月的宝宝老是闹着出去玩 宝宝晚上抱出去不好吗 宝宝眼角磕破了睡觉要注意什么吗 亚星官网 亚星官网 亚星官网 亚星官网 亚星游戏官网 轮回典之六道传说 修仙需要靠创业 无限求生 暮洛书签 原来我是万界之王 亚星管理平台 万利游戏官网 万利官网 亚星管理平台 澳门葡京官网 8个月宝宝脸部肌肉喜欢挤在一起 宝宝一会儿拉一点点 六个月宝宝噗噗噗 宝宝肠胃不好怎么给他揉肚子 宝宝一会儿拉一点点 四个月的宝宝老是闹着出去玩 月子里宝宝含着奶头不停吸 四个月的宝宝老是闹着出去玩 宝宝不吃东西没精神 宝宝站不稳 宝宝拉感冒可以吃蜂糖 宝宝吃母乳多久吃一次 宝宝发烧一晚上怎么办? 宝宝5到9岁冬天怎么补钙 怀孕四十多天宝宝图片 宝宝5到9岁冬天怎么补钙 宝宝吃母乳多久吃一次 3到6个月宝宝早教 鄂裂宝宝能看出来吗? 宝宝拉感冒可以吃蜂糖 月子里宝宝含着奶头不停吸 2岁宝宝一次喝多少奶粉 多大的宝宝补叶酸 宝宝眼角磕破了睡觉要注意什么吗 3到6个月宝宝早教 一岁宝宝屁股连带阴囊都红了 四个月的宝宝老是闹着出去玩 怀孕四十多天宝宝图片 宝宝突然动的很厉害 铁元宝宝能喝吗